LuridThoughts

He has his own unique way of saying “I love you.” It is so rarely direct, and then only ever in private. But, having spent so many years so close to him, so many years seeing the smallest idiosyncrasies day in and day out, I know when he says it. Sometimes it is in his touch as he brushes his hand against my waist. Slightly more tender than usual. It is a gentle caress he uses just to make sure that I am real and not just a, as he says, “angel I saw within my dreams.” But then he grabs hard and pulls me against him or pushes me against a wall then shoves himself so close to me my heart stops all together and I feel he

The world is full of heads hung low Terrified children trying not to show their faces, their pain Stashed away in their hiding places Crying in the rain We hold up masks with painted smiles And happy eyes Hoping but fearing someone will realize the pain behind This happy facade We scream up “Why” to a silent God Thinking we’re alone That no one will see What goes on in our broken homes Forgotten under the covers, trying not to be. Some of us go further trying to hide The smiling mask is not enough to survive So we cover up more We shelter who we are The parts inside we once adored are now too fragile to keep in sight If we l

"I don't even know why I'm here." She said as tears began streaming down her cheeks. She tore her gaze away from me, unable to look into my eyes a moment longer. Her throat caught. She could barely speak behind her sadness. "I don't even know why I came. All I know is that I feel I owe you so much, you have done so much for me and I feel obligated to go out of my way, and bend over backwards to help your every whim." With each word she grew louder, her anger burning like a fuse; every thought bringing her closer to bursting. "I am just so infatuated with how much you helped me but I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. Yet here I

Though now it was so long ago, I remember when I first met Jennifer. She was the first real person I feel I had ever known and we created such a beautiful relationship. I was a whirlwind back then. A twisting flurry of self hatred, empty beer bottles, and razor blades. What a mess. But over the years of having Jen in my life those raging winds of adolescence faded and I found myself growing into someone I am now happy to be. All thanks to her inspiration. It was many years ago now, back when we were in school; a battlefield of raining insults and exploding humiliation. Endless wars between gangs of cliques erupting in devastating pranks and

Whenever I look at the night sky I am filled with a beautiful sadness. For in their shimmering light I see you, my love, and it is unbelievably lovely. But then, when I reach out to touch them, I am reminded just how far away you are.

Have you ever woken up one morning And everything just doesn't feel quite right? Have you ever just wanted to curl back up And pretend that the day never came? But despite those feelings you force yourself awake because you know things need to be done. Have you ever spent the whole day thinking That you wish you could just go back to sleep? Have you ever drifted aimlessly Not really feeling alive? It's like walking on the moon, or swimming in jello Surreal, slow motion, time passing you by. Have you ever felt you weren't alone Though no one is around? Have you ever felt you were being watch When not a soul can be found? The co